Battle Field Called Love
by 3D-Slacken
Summary: CRACK. AKE. SasuSaku decoy NaruSaku. Thanks to the cast and fans of Naruto, Sasuke will never be the same. "This is bullshit!"


A/N: The words on bold are the actions, saying of audiences and sound effects, it's like the big cue cards on tv sets. Bold with quotations marks are individual audiences.

Enjoy reading

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"Err?"

Blinking "Is this thing on?"

"Whatever… Maybe… just say somethings."

"Good Evening inhabitants of the world who are waiting so much for the newest episode of Naruto!"

**(SCREAMS)**

"Live at— " scratch head, looking around

"… I really don't know what place is this… But yeah it's LIVE BROADCAST!"

"Sadly we will not air any new episode this week or any following week , because I am dead in the series and people all over the world wants me back but Masashi Kishimoto, our powerful creator does not want me back." Feeling so proud he continued "This is like a revolt of the people or something… And I am here to be your host!"

**"BOO! YOU STINK!"**

"What? it's TRUE! Didn't you see how EDO TENSEI was cast on to many dead people? And what's their excuse for me?"

**(SILENCE)**

"My corpse is at the bottom of the sea, that no one can reach it! So I am impossible to revive! FEH ALL BLUFF! "

**"DON'T BE A SPOILER YOU PERVERT SAGE!"**

**"YEAH! WE'RE NOT YET DONE READING THAT PART CAPTAIN PERVERT!"**

**"SHUT UP! "**

**(SILENCE)**

"Ahmm… Ji-Jiraya-sama the show"

"OH! "

"Sorry about that… "

"JOKE! A JOKE! There is an episode today A SPECIAL EPISODE! "

**(SILENCE)**

"YES I mean A VERY SPECIAL SPECTACULAR SPECIAL one whole hour or more episode of Naruto Shippuden called Battle Field Called Love. "

"And I AM HERE AS ONE OF THE MOST HANDSOME HOST EVER SEEN ON TV, JIRAIYA-SAMA! "

**(SILENCE)**

"AND YES! You can get Icha-Icha Paradise signed by me at a discounted price after this even if you are not eighteen year old above!" _(I am going to regret this later…)_

**(SILENCE)**

"Hey why all of you are silent?"scratching his head "DIDN'T YOU GUYS HEARD THAT? ICHA-ICHA DISCOUNTED PRICE and no age limit?"

**(SILENCE)**

"Can't you see that digital thingy that displays what you guys will do applause, scream and stuff?"

A random audience stood up and said "You told us to shut up… and you're asking us?" glare "and here I though you were smart"

Sigh "All of you can go nuts now…" (_How stupid these people_ _can be_)

**(APPLAUSE )**

**.**

**(SCREAMS) KYAaaaaaa!**

**.**

**(WHISTLE)**

**.**

**(Yell ) HAIL TO THE GREAT CREATOR OF ICHA-ICHA PARADISE!**

"So you must all be wondering what is this Battle Field Called Love episode all about, well the title is very obvious and here to explain it is co-host Gai! " _(me? Explain? Lame…)_

**FIREWORKS!**

**Ohh**

**AHhhh**

"EVENING YOUTHFUL L VIEWERS I will explain what Battle Field Called love episode is all about…"

**(DRAMATIC SOUND )**

"Even we, the characters of Naruto, wants to gain more knowledge who will be and should be ending up together!"

"In three simple words!"

**(SILENCE)**

"NARUSAKU versus SASUSAKU!"

smile

smile

**(SCREAM) KYAAaaaaa!**

_-THE BANG-UP OF UCHIHA SASUKE-_

**(APPLAUSE)**

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COMMERCIAL

ARE YOU? YES YOU!

YOU THE ONE WATCHING THIS COMMERCIAL!

ARE YOU DYING OF THIRST?

YES?

AND YOU ARE A NARUTO FANATIC!

AND YOU WANT UR DRINK WITH BENEFITS?

THEN BUY NOW

NARUTONIC- FOR ENERGY AND STAMINA BOOSTING

SASUCOLA- FOR PLEASURE OF YOUR DRYING THROAT

AND EVER POPULAR WITH THE GIRLS SAKUWHEY PROTEIN SHAKE!

Available on all stores world wide…

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"Yo! I am Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi"

**KYAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!**

**Show US YOU'RE FACE!**

**KISS!**

**SMOOCH!**

Cough.

Cough.

"I am here to satisfy all of your curiosity about the future, INTRODUCING my ex students…"

" Haruno Sakura."

Grin. Grin.

Putting a strand of her hair behind her ear "THANK YOU ALL HATERS AND LOVERS" and waving to the audience

Stare .

Stare.

Stare.

**SAKURA-CHAN KAWAII!**

…

"Uzumaki Naruto"

Grin.

Grin.

V-Sign

"I WILL BEAT SASUKE-TEME IN BATTLE SO HARD HE WILL WORSHIP ME!"

**Hooray! Hooray! NARUTO OUR HERO!**

…

"and Uchiha Sasuke"

Glare. Intense Glare . "Make a sound and I will kill all of you…"

**(SILENCE)**

blink.

blink.

gulp.

sweat dropped

smirk.

smirk "Good."

Kakashi grinned "And of course our cast members of Naruto!" pause "Are you ready for our first episode? "

"NARUSAKU STYLE!" Sasuke angrily stared at Kakashi while Naruto and Sakura both blush and smiled shyly.

**APPLAUSE**

"AND FIRST TO DEFEND NARASAKU PAIRING IS THE FAMOUS BAD GUY BUT TURNED OUT TO BE A GOOD GUY UCHIHA ITACHI!"

**(APPLAUSE)**

**(SCREAM)**

**WHY DIDN'T SASUKE DIED INSTEAD?**

**YOU SHOULD HAVE LIVE! DAMN!**

**YOUR OTOUTO IS DESTROYING EVERYTHING YOU WORKED HARD FOR!**

**SHOWDOWN!**

**(YELL) ITACHI! ITACHI! ITACHI!**

Sasuke gave an objectionable frown "hn"

"Yes an unexpected fan of NaruSaku maybe? perhaps? Let's find out shall we?"

"Asshole…" Sasuke mumbled

"So… Itachi why do you think Naruto and Sakura should be together?"

"There are many reasons… but I choose only one fact that I find fascinating and that is Chapter Four Hundred Eighty Three of the manga" holding a copy of the manga volume fifty-six " I am sure my little brother lost her after page eight." he said chuckling

**(AMUSE )**

**(LAUGH)**

"Do you not agree with me viewers? it is like my foolish little brother…" looking at Sasuke "isn't really meant to be with dear Sakura-chan here… he's heartless compared to his innocent brother who only wants the best for him."

**AWW**

**(CHATTER. CHATTER)**

"And if I may add Sakura-chan is not stupid here to not notice the fairytale and resemblance that is happening between Naruto and her… Am I right Sakura-chan?"

BLUSH. BLUSH

"Amusing Sakura-chan , you're reaction that is." smirk

"How about Naruto-kun?" lazily gazing at Naruto

"Oho…" chuckle. Chuckle.

"Red as tomato, you know the so called food that my brother eats all day long… and no Naruto-kun burying your head in the ground does not hide your embarrassment your just giving proof to your remarkable _love affair_."

**Ooh**

Sasuke tried very hard not to clench his fist "So Sasuke what is your comment about Itachi, you're brother if I may also add, being a NaruSaku fan?" Kakashi knew he had hit the spot.

"Fuck you tomato is healthy…"

**(SILENCE)**

…

Twitch.

Twitch.

Calm.

Close eyes

"I respect someone's opinion about the NaruSaku pairing" his fingers tapping "especially if it comes from my heroic brother who doesn't want any help and because of him I am the bad guy."

**(AMAZE) OHhhh**

smirk.

smirk.

"Touchy "

glare.

glare.

"And you have serious issues"

"Thank you very much UCHIHA ITACHI!" Kakashi interrupted "BEFORE YOU GUYS FIGHT AND KILL EACH OTHER AGAIN LET US FIRST WELCOME OUR SECOND NARUSAKU DEFENDER SMART YET TOTALLY GOING GAGA ON SASUKE BEFORE HE TRIED TO KILL HER, KARIN!"

**(APPLAUSE)**

"Whatever" Sasuke slump on his chair "I am sleeping"

"In Chapter Four Hundred Eighty-Eight!"

**(NOD)**

"I was there see! And Sakura was having this smile as Naruto slept" Karin Continued "Yes maybe I am delirious or people are thinking I am a slut wanting Sasuke-kun all to myself "looking at Sasuke who still sleeping… kind of.

"AS IF! I'M SO DONE WITH HIM! TRY TO GET KILLED BY SOMEONE YOU LIKE AND SEE IF IT FUN!"

awkward.

"Er… BACK TO THE POINT"

Pointing at Sakura "But that was a sign that a girl, Sakura, is in love with Naruto and she's just rejecting her feelings! SUPRESSING IT!"

**(AMAZE) OOOOoh**

"Care to explain this Karin, as you can see we were all yet again amuse."

"GLADLY!"

"As I was carefully analyzing Sakura here she seems to be the type of girl who will fall in love with a knight in a shining armor." She was grinning widely

"Who doesn't want a man like that? HELL EVERY FREAKING GIRL IN THE WORLD WANTS A MAN LIKE THAT"

"And guess who will that be audience?"

**NARUTO! **(_pro NaruSaku audience_)

"Not Sasuke right?"

**NOT SASUKE! **(_pro NaruSaku audience_)

Nodding Karin felt contented

"AND SAKURA!"

"Didn't you know that on Chapter three page sixteen it was Naruto who transformed into Sasuke and said those cheesy lines."

**(ACT SHOCK) NO WAY!**

"One word, Busted."

"AND!"

"AND!"

"When you saw again Sasuke-kun that one who said you're annoying? That's the real Sasuke-kun!"

"THE ARROGANT BASTARD HIMSELF!"

"But the Real Sasuke-kun is right… I should have respect Naruto-kun HECK! EVERYONE SHOULD RESPECT HIM HE'S THE ULTIMATE HERO OF THE MANGA DAMN IT!" Sakura declared

**(GASP)**

"Errr? Sakura…"

"Yes?"

"Did you realize what you had just said?"

Blush. Blush. "I complimented Naruto. Big deal I do it all most all the time, YOU DO IT TO RIGHT?"

**(AGREES) YES!**

Sigh "No Sakura this. REMOTE PLEASE!"

"Let us rewind shall we? THE HIGHTLIGHT!"

Rewind. Rewind. _"But the Real Sasuke-kun is right… I should have respect Naruto-kun … and… and… HECK! EVERYONE SHOULD RESPECT HIM HE'S THE ULTIMATE HERO OF THE MANGA DAMN IT!"_

Rewind. Rewind. "_I should have respect Naruto-kun … and… and… HECK! EVERYONE SHOULD RESPECT HIM HE'S THE ULTIMATE HERO OF THE MANGA DAMN IT!"_

Rewind. Rewind. "_I should have respect Naruto-kun"_

Rewind. Rewind. "_Naruto-kun"_

Rewind. Rewind. "_Naruto-kun"_

**(SCREAM) KYAAAAAaaaaaaa!**

"Sakura-chan you don't have to suppress your feelings even if my otouto is here, remember he doesn't love you or even?" pointing his hands to audience

**(CONTINUE ITACHI'S SPEECH) LIKE YOU!**

"Yeah Sakura who was saving your butt all this time?" Karin added "The resemblance that was Itachi was talking about was Kushina and Minato!"

**(AMAZE) Ooohh**

"IT WAS THE PERFECT LOVE STORY!"

"LIKE YOU AND NARUTO"

"DON'T YOU AGREE WITH ME VIEWERS?"

**(SCREAMS) YES!**

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COMMERCIAL

DO YOU HAVE A LOVE PROBLEM?

ONE BASTARD YET COOL AND ONE DUMB YET HEROIC GUY ARE INLOVE WITH YOU?

DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE?

WONDERING YOUR FUTURE WITH THEM?

JUST VISIT FAN FICTION . NET

AND YOU'LL SEE

YES!

YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY, DEFINITELY, UNQUESTIONABLY SEE WHICH ONE WILL BE LIKELY BE MEANT FOR YOU!

YOU MAYBE IN LIKE WITH THE HEROIC GUY RIGHT NOW!

BUT YOU CAN'T DENY THAT EVEN THAT BASTARD TRIED TO KILL YOU YOU'RE STILL FOR SURE INLOVE WITH HIM!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

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"We are back!"

"That was an amazing defense by Uchiha Itachi and Karin don't you thinks so Gai?"

"THE POWER OF YOUTH IS SCREAMING!"

**(SCREAM) NARUSAKU!**

"Itachi's unquestionable facts and Karin using my student's love affair with Kushina, GENIUS DEFENSE INDEED!" Jiraiya said in a matter of fact tone

"BUT STILL IT ISN'T ENOUGH!"

"INTRODUCING OUR NEXT NARUSAKU DEFENDER! MAYBE? MAYBE NOT! HYUUGA HINATA!"

**(APPLAUSE)**

**(SCREAM) BIJIN!**

"Hinata?" Naruto gasp in surprise.

"Hello…" smile "—everyone" blush

**(WHISTLE)**

"So Hinata-chan care to speak what's in your mind." Kakashi said in a friendly tone.

"Well Kakashi-san I think Naruto-kun and Sakura-san should be together."

**CONFETTI (PLAK) (PLAK)**

"But why Hinata-chan? Don't you love Naruto?" Kakashi asked "Please look in the magical screen next me, see Hinata-chan you are caught in act stalk— looking at Naruto all the time. While Sakura (A/N: the screen is divided into two, featuring Hianata on the left side and Sakura on the right side) as we can see is always hitting Naruto straight in the face."

"I understand Sakura-san, that's the way how she shows that he loves Naruto-kun." Hinata was staring at Naruto and Sakura who were consistent in blushing.

"Sakura-san doesn't want Naruto-kun to feel awkward so she keeps acting that way. When you love someone you understand what's going on with and if you really love that person you will let them be happy."

**(ADORE) Awwww**

"This is bullshit!"

Sasuke was so irritated that when he stood up his chair flew backward.

**(GASP)**

"Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

Burn ASSHOLES!

Thank you very much


End file.
